Probably not since watching Rocky and Bullwinkle have I been exposed to a moose. But in Alaska, look around! There are moose by the dozens here! Now, I know that moose are found all around the northern latitudes of the world, but none so large and iconic as these.
In one day I came across four moose within a span of a couple of hours, two of which, trotted in front of my truck. One thing I have noticed is the elusiveness of the bull moose. So far, I have only seen the cows and calves. My friend’s father, Jim, who joined me for the drive up with me to Alaska, claims to have seen one while we were driving.
Perhaps later in the year when they are in rut (mating season) will I finally see one. My only hope is that I have my camera handy. Out of all the Alaskan mammals, moose seem the least concerned with bipedal mammals such as us. They have no real natural predator except for the bloodthirsty Bronco or the feisty Forrester.
A moose’s innermost thoughts are mainly centered on fresh tree shoots and soggy pond scum. The pond scum is eaten as a sodium supplement, apparently. It’s kind of nasty to watch if you ask me. Once the mating season is over I hope to come across some freshly shed moose antlers. You can never have too many antlers in Alaska!
Besides playing moose roulette with my truck, my second biggest concern is bumping into an 8-foot, 1000 pound beast on the way to my outhouse. I keep forgetting to look around me because the intoxicating effect of sleep clouds my thoughts in the morning. Why am I concerned? Well, because moose attack more people than bears and wolves combined!
Most people do not know that moose are dangerous. This is probably due to their dorky appearance. Those skinny legs and bulbous upper-body appear slow and clunky, but they are anything but. A moose can charge at speeds of 35 m.p.h., easily outrunning any human. On top of that, their massive hooves can smash your neck with one single blow. Did I mention they have teeth, too?
So, it is best to leave these bulky behemoths alone, and enjoy them from a safe distance. I have no idea why a squirrel and moose became friends, but rest assured that that squirrel would have been trampled to death a long time ago in real life. Yeah, I know, it’s not the best way to end a blog, but that’s real life, people. It ain’t* pretty sometimes.
*I am from Texas and have permission to use “ain’t” like it’s a word.
You KNOW the rules. You KNOW them.
ReplyDeleteConstitution of Woodland Creatures, Amendment 3, Section A, Paragraph 1, beginning at line 6:
"If two Woodland creatures should simultaneously find themselves pursued by two or more wicked Russians or Eastern Europeans, they may band together to form a temporary union, potentially unholy, for their mutual survivial. Let it also be known that if the squirrel can fly, the moose should provide goggles for said squirrel so that he may serve as an adequate scout. If the moose can also fly, they may mechanically join themselves together and mount a rail gun atop their backs, allowing them to serve as a sort of 'Apocalyptic Airship.'"
Jake
i like reading your blogs and i think they are well written. i have already started saving to come up there next summer. hope your ready. i aint jokin'.
ReplyDeletealex